Friday, January 23, 2015

don't be a pro-life hypocrite (two things commonly ignored)

This post is written to Christians claiming to believe in life from the moment of conception. If that's not you, don't read it. Or do, but don't argue with me about it from that perspective.

This week was the 42nd anniversary of Roe v. Wade - the landmark Supreme Court case that legalized abortion. Since then over 58 million unborn babies have been discarded like trash - well, not like trash, actually as trash.

Most pro-lifers would do anything they could to help any born person, so this post is not the tired rhetoric and logical fallacy often thrown out by pro-choice people that pro-lifers only care about the unborn. We all know that's not true, no matter how much they say it.

And I'm not going to talk about the spineless hypocrisy of law makers who claim pro-life status but, like cowards, act more pro-self than anything else.

This post is about two things commonly ignored in Christian circles, but might as well be big red Hs on the chests of Christians everywhere. Not just those who are participating in these two things, but those that are silent about them. I've already done posts about both - just follow the links.

Hypocrisy #1 - Widespread use of chemical birth control and IUDs. ALL of them are abortifacients, yet pro-life Christians are still using them. Not to ignore the incredibly important point that these methods of birth control do not affirm the life of the mother either. They can have dangerous (even deadly) side effects and cause long-term health complications. And Christian men - if you sit by while your wife poisons her body and her reproductive system like that, shame on you.

Hypocrisy #2 - Saying IVF can be a moral option for infertile Christian couples. I did a "Think About It" post on IVF awhile back. I'm not going to change it, but, reading it now,  I almost feel like I was too kind. My hubby and I were talking about it last night - babies in the petri dish, babies in the lab, babies in the freezer… so, so many babies "conceived" by parents who implore God to allow some of them to live through the overwhelmingly traumatic and dangerous IVF process.  (A sad thing here is that many couples struggle with infertility caused by the use of their birth control.)

If life is life at the moment of conception, we have to stop defending these things. We have to stop being silent on these things. We have to help each other stop being hypocritical.

"Behold, children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward."
~Psalm 127:3

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

why I'm not praying for the purity of my children's future spouses

Every Christian thinks about what kind of people they would like their children to marry. And if we're "good" parents and "good" Christians, we pray for those future spouses. We pray they will be good people, and that they will follow the Lord.

And we pray they will be pure until marriage. Don't we? I mean, aren't we supposed to? Isn't that what we all want?



Go off on a tangent with me here… I promise I will bring it back around.

I teach a childbirth education class for Christians. But it's not like stages of birth, what to expect, etc., except in how those things relate to the main focus of the class.  And my main focus is this: keeping Christ at the center of your birth. Christ. At the center. Every decision, every time.

And also at the center as it relates to outcomes. What's a good outcome for childbirth? The only right answer is: Whatever God allows. Whatever. he allows.

Not healthy mom, healthy baby. That's not the only good outcome. Sure, we'd all like that. Nobody wants their childbirth to be complicated or tragic. But until we accept that God causes all things to work for good - including any outcome in birth - we have not surrendered our all to him.

So what does this have to do with spouses for our children and purity?

Simply this: I want my children to find and accept the person God has for them. Period. That's the good outcome. That's the goal.

Christians hold "purity" up so high. And with seemingly good reason. We want marriage beds undefiled. We want to protect our kids from the heartache and suffering that can come from intimate relationships outside of marriage, including the baggage they can bring into a marriage from that.

But do we want to teach our kids that only virgins are worthy spouses? Do we want to teach them that if that boy or that girl has a history that includes kissing or other intimacies that they don't deserve a holy marriage? Or if they themselves make a mistake that they don't deserve a holy marriage?

Or do we want to teach them that Christ's sacrifice covers a multitude of sins? That his blood purifies? That that man or woman who made mistakes in the past is now pure in God's sight?

Do we want our children to look for a virgin or do we want them to look for someone who loves and follows the Lord?

You already know my answer. I pray that my children find someone who loves the Lord and is willing to go all in, for better or worse, until death do them part. Someone who is committed to purity in their relationship with my child. And that's it. Because the man or woman who follows the Lord is pure in his sight, who are we to see them otherwise?

Nothing is more important than this truth: Christ came to seek and save the lost. Christ came so that we all might have forgiveness for whatever sins are lurking in our past.

I won't teach my kids to look for sexual inexperience.

I won't pray that my kids will look for sexual inexperience.

I pray that they look for Christ.

UPDATE: After getting some feedback yesterday, I felt I needed to come back and add something. This post was not meant to discourage you from praying how you feel led. I can't make those decisions for you, and I would never want to keep you from following the prompting of the Holy Spirit. For instance, one person told me that she feels led to pray specifically that her children's future spouses do not have a problem with alcohol. Because people in her family have that problem. Because she knows the heartache and the struggle and doesn't want that for her children. And that's wonderful. She is listening to the Holy Spirit.

And maybe you do feel led to pray for the purity of your children's future spouses. Listen to the Holy Spirit. Pray as he leads you. But as you teach your children how to pray for their future spouses, make sure they understand that it's because you feel led, not because that one virtue is not the be-all, end-all.

And make sure you aren't praying a certain way because some "good" Christians told you that you must.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Costco shopping on a modified GAPS diet

Hey everyone! I'm back again! Did you miss me? 

Well, I'm easing in. Nothing too controversial. 

But don't worry, that's coming. Today groceries, next up… well, I have some ideas that are sure to stir up some trouble. 

So I started the GAPS diet in February of 2014. It's been a long, hard road, as cliche as that sounds. (Hey, someone tell me how to get that accent mark over my e!) I'm happy to report that I feel better than I have in 15 years. Yay for a healthy, whole-foods diet! 

GAPS is pretty restrictive, though as my healing progresses I do get to add more foods. But people often ask me what I eat, and I thought I'd share the typical things I buy at Costco. 

Part of GAPS (and really any whole foods diet) is eliminating processed foods. We do eat some when they have limited ingredients, like the applesauce I bought today. However, it has ascorbic acid, which is not preferable. I won't be eating it, but I'll let the kids have it because their systems aren't as sensitive as mine. 

With two teens in the house, food disappears fast! 

Okay, here's the list:

The aforementioned applesauce. 36 individual cups, organic, no added sugar. 
Organic chia seeds. I just started eating chia seed pudding, and I'm hooked!
Frozen organic strawberries
Kerrygold butter
Dried dates 
Dried figs
Organic baby cut carrots
Organic large carrots
Sweet onions
Organic raisins
Coconut oil
Avocado oil
Canned wild Alasken salmon
Raw almonds
Sea salt
Himalayan salt
Pure maple syrup

You'll notice there aren't a lot of fresh vegetables on that list. It's not because we don't eat them; it's because there are very few that we eat frequently enough to justify buying in quantity. 

Could you put together a meal or two from that list?