This has been a hard morning for me. Yesterday, I wrote and published a blog post on my Macbook. It took me a couple hours. A couple friends on Facebook shared it. This morning I opened it in my iPad to edit the title, and the content disappeared. Now only the title is left. This is apparently a common problem with Blogger and the iPad that has been going on for a long time. (Attention... Blogger techs... please fix this!). It explains why I lost a post just days ago. But that post wasn't finished, and was actually kind of silly. This one - entitled The War on Food Freedom - is something I'd want to recreate, but that will be very difficult. So, I literally cried. Yes, folks. I cried. What's shameful is that I had just had an argument with my daughter because she was hysterical that she can't go to a friend's house next week. I said to her, only minutes before I lost my post, "there are more important things in this world to be upset about."
Hello hypocrite. It's never nice to see you again.
The truth is that most writers tend to be overly in love with their words (even at the same time we think we are terrible writers). So I stopped to think. Had what I said made a life-changing impact on anyone who read it? Probably not. Have a million other people said almost the same thing? Probably.
Was spending an hour trying to figure out how to restore my post a waste of my time?
I remember years ago that a very Godly woman, also a writer, shared how she lost a lot of things she had written by hand in a journal. At the time, she grieved the loss. But later she told the story to explain the lessons God taught her through that. The top one being that her words were not as important as she thought. Now, I am sure that the words she wrote and lost were more important than my rant on food freedom. And, the lesson for me is this:
God will give me the words that I need to write.
And if they disappear, well, they served their purpose.
But wait... there's more!
I am on day 6 of my raw milk fast. For six days, I have had nothing but raw milk, some vegetable broth, and some herbal tea. It's been hard, but I've managed. After the second day, I didn't have any real cravings or problems avoiding food - except last night, as I cooked dinner for my family, it was hard to resist the ground beef I got from my farmer. That quickly passed.
This morning, though. Oh, what a different story. After I lost my post, and I was in tears, and upset that I couldn't find a way to restore it, and mad at Blogger for providing terrible customer service... I thought about coffee. Donut Shop Decaf with sugar and creamy, yummy milk. Mmmm. And then I remembered we have jelly beans in the camper. Just Born. Double mmmm. I didn't have either of those things, but even now I am seriously tempted. This is a lesson that God has to keep teaching me over and over:
I am an emotional eater.
Had I not been on this fast, I would have been having coffee and jelly beans. And my flesh would win out over my spirt, which tells me to seek God in my sorrow, not food. I have to try to hold on to this when I go off my fast this time!
So, yeah, a hard morning. But God was there as always to turn my trials into teaching moments. And I thank and praise Him for that.
(And, yes, I am backing this post up so it won't be lost if Blogger should again fail me.)
Have a blessed day!